Sunday, September 18, 2011

Why Should She Care About Me?

I just reread a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Niall Doherty, titled "Why The Hell Would Anyone Be Interested In You?"  He raises a good point that I had never really thought about, even after reading that post for the first time.  Why should any woman I'm attracted to be attracted to me?  I won't bother asking my family that, as all I would hear is, "Well, why wouldn't she?"  Or they would say, "She shouldn't be."  Instead of a quick answer, I actually want to think this through.

What am I looking for in a woman?  I think about this every now and then, but don't have an easy answer.  Physically, she should stay away from the extremes of obese and pencil thin; I don't find either attractive at all.  We should be compatible philosophically, in that we generally agree in our beliefs of life, the universe, and everything, but be open minded enough to be able to change her mind.  She should be big on kids, both in general and those she wants to have.  I really want kids, more than I want anything else in life, and I would refuse to marry someone who didn't feel the same.  Finally, we should have at least one interest in common, be it learning, teaching, hiking/backpacking, science fiction/fantasy, philosophy, psychology, or whatever.  

To summarize, she should:  be somewhere in the middle, physically; have a similar philosophy; be open minded; really be into kids; and have at least one thing in common with me.  

So, why the hell should she be interested in me?  Physically, I'm somewhere in the middle.  I have much of my personal philosophy figured out.  I'm open minded in that I can admit when I'm wrong and change my viewpoint to something that can be proven to be more correct.  I really like kids.  I have a lot of interests and am always trying out new ones.

Huh.  Well, maybe I have a chance at her being interesting in me after all.  I've been doing my thinking as I wrote this post, so this is actually news to me.  Makes my day, really.  

For my fellow singles, what kind of person are you looking for?  Why should they be interested in you?  And if they shouldn't, how can you make yourself more interesting to them?


  1. My answer is similar, though I wouldn't really scratch someone off the list for weight (one way or the other). Actually, I probably would compromise on any of the items if I felt other things were enough to compensate. (Maybe this just means I have lower standards. :P)

    Since Laura and I split, I'm "back on the market" (and to be honest I'm feeling extra-lonely since I'm away from my family for the first time in my life). I'm hoping to find someone who I have more in common with than I did with her. My #1 hope is someone to have intellectual discussions with. This could mean philosophy, math, science... fairly wide range, so long as she is interested in talking about *ideas*.

  2. I'm more than willing to compromise, but being, say, double my weight tells me that she doesn't care too much about her health. Being underweight is a slightly different story, as there might be an eating disorder or other medical issue involved. Hmm... Ok, granted, there could be a medical issue involved with being overweight as well. I just try to stay away from the extremes in most things.