Sunday, February 26, 2012

Late Night Musings

It's nearing one in the morning, and here I sit at my computer, wide awake.  I just made some tea (decaf) and am about to read for a bit before going to bed.  This is the time of day when I tend to be at my best.  It's a pity that society doesn't allow us to work on our own schedules. 

I've spent the day alternating between relaxing and getting things done.  Unfortunately, most of what I'm getting done is busy work.  Useful and important work, but still busy work.  The main such bit of busy work is cleaning my apartment in early preparation for my move this summer.  It may seem a bit too early to you, but I have a tendency to wait until the day of to get most things done. 

In my cleanings, I'm going through a lot of history:  my deceased father's shirt, a picture of an ex girlfriend, the NES cartridge of the original Mario Brothers, an obituary notice for a great-grandfather that I never met, an external floppy drive...  I've found no less than four musical instruments and some books and CDs about how to play them.  It's amazing what one can collect in 31 years.  Do I really need to keep my high school diploma?  I found the paper copy and another in plaque form.  I'm tossing the plaque.  What's sad is that all of the memories will just get put back into storage until the next time I go through them.  I've read about simply taking a digital picture of such items and storing them in the clouds; that way, I don't have to worry about physical storage and can still relive the memories whenever I want.  I don't think I can do that, though.

Another effect of going through such things is wondering about life in the other direction:  the future.  The future is something I discuss routinely on this blog.  This time, however, I wonder about future memories.  Future memories are simply visualization exercises of what I want to experience in the future:  being hugged by my child, watching the sun rise in the mountains with the woman I love, bringing together my entire family to celebrate a major event...  It's not a long list - I visualize only the most important memories - but they are all precious to me.

I look at the past in my hands and the future in my mind and wonder how to bridge the two.  In my journey, I've taken the scenic route too many times.  I've seen and done things many people haven't, but I've also put off my future memories.  I'm starting to wonder if the scenery was quite worth it.

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