Who do you want to be? How do they act? What do they know? Why aren't you working toward being that person?
I'm not talking about becoming anyone else, real or imaginary. When you think about your goals, what kind of person do you need to be to reach them? If you want to find someone to be with, why should she be interested in you? If you want to start a business, do you have the knowledge, habits, or contacts you need? If you want to write a book, do you have a habit or reading and writing every day? Do you have an environment set up, like an office, workshop, or garden? If you are missing what you need, you need to work toward them.
This is what I'm missing in my life. My journey has had some nice scenery, but not much substance of late. What roles do I want to have in the last fifty years of my life? I want to be a father and husband. I want to build up my physical endurance. I want to be competent in the piano. I want to be fluent in Japanese. I want to always be learning. I want to be a lunar engineer. But what am I doing to work toward these? Not all that much.
These days, I tend to find myself reading things that aren't helping me in any way. Or I get ahold of a casual game and play that until it's finished. At least it's more reading and less gaming, but I'm still not moving very quickly toward my goals. Yes, I listen to Japanese music and podcasts. Yes, I am eating more healthy food than I was. Yes, I am restarting the fitness routine I tried out (and enjoyed) last year as well as spend some time running. I even signed up for a 10k next month. And I'm doing a bit of soldering. My journey is at a crawl, though at least it's not standing still.
When it comes to finding someone to start a family with, a common thought in my head is that she can do better than me. Do I really believe that? Yes, to an extent. Then I started thinking, why don't I become that mythical better person? Why don't I better myself in order to win someone's affections? Why don't I become the person I want to be for her?
When it comes to being a lunar engineer and building lunar rovers, why aren't I gaining the knowledge I need? The tools I need? Why aren't I living in the area I need? Right now, I'm learning more about space history and the current trends of private space exploration. I'm picking up motors and sensors and learning how to interface with them. I'm thinking about where the major players are for space exploration, but NASA related and private. Seems like I may end up back in Florida.
I have much to do. There are books to read, electronic projects to build, and women to woo. Um, do people still woo? No? Oh, well.
I'm still looking to looking to see how my goals fit together. With fitness and health, I can use astronaut training guidelines to see if I would be qualified to go into space, even if I never expect to. I can continue to listen to Japanese while driving, or pop in an audio book. Once I find where I want to live, I'll finally get a piano and start working on my scales.
Japan, the stars, and my future family await.